Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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