I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
