You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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