it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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