So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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