i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
