That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
