went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So much Jack, so little girl.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
