but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
