the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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