im having a threesome with these popsicles
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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