No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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