you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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