He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
