I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
