ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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