haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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