I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just gift wrapped bread.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
