Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
