you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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