just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
