Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
