i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
