whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
