lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
