So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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