I got chris browned last night
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
