I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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