then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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