I haven't been this sober since birth.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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