She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
