I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
