Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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