I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I need moral support for this bender
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
