i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
