period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
