party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
