you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
