You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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