i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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