I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
