you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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