I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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