She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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