Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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