They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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