yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
