if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
