oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
