the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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