tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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