Pants 0. Shit 1.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
