if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Sober January is a disaster.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
