After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
