Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
